Talking Points | 1 Comment

PFOX Comes to Nebraska

Tags: ex-gay, ex-gay ministries, ex-gay therapy, PFLAG, PFOX, Religious Right, Right Wing | by Victoria Lavin | May 29th, 2010, 1:00 pm

Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays (PFOX) is an organization that “supports families, advocates for the ex-gay community, educates the public on sexual orientation,” AND they are against homosexuality. They promote an all inclusive environment for the ex-gay community and strive to eliminate negative perceptions and discrimination against former homosexuals.

 Well, I am all for teaching non-discrimination, but forcing someone to change their sexual orientation?!?

The PFOX organization was founded in 1998 with the support of the Family Research Council who described PFOX as, “a Christ-centered support group for homosexuals and their families and friends, [which] provides Christian counsel for those who are struggling with the sin of homosexuality.”  Originally PFOX’s mission statement defined themselves as changing one’s sexual orientation to the original “God given” gender and to create “morally correct” gender attractions, through reparative conversion, and/or religious therapy. Now PFOX defines themselves, more slyly by excluding any reference to gay conversion, as: “a national non-profit organization that supports families, and advocates for the ex-gay community, and also educates the public on heterosexual orientation.”

PFOX is part of P.A.T.H (Positive Alternatives to Homosexuality), a coalition which advocates for using therapy to, “embrace your innate heterosexual potential,” or embrace “a lifestyle as a single, non-sexually active man or woman”, in your “God given” gender [ignoring the fact that 95% of heterosexual persons have sexual relations before marriage ].  

PFOX focuses on distributing information to schools and workplaces about “leaving homosexuality through [religious based] change”. The goal is to spread the message that change is both preferable and possible. For example, in Montgomery County, MD, PFOX is currently distributing a flyer to every high school student in the county that states, “Those with unwanted same-sex attractions can seek help and information to overcome their feelings.”

To be clear, there is no research that supports the methods or claims that PFOX makes. In fact, nearly every major medical and psychological organization opposes this effort. In fact, in 2009, the American Psychological Association (APA) released a resolution and policy statement that states “[APA] encourages mental health professionals to avoid misrepresenting the efficacy of sexual orientation change efforts by promoting or promising change in sexual orientation when providing assistance to individuals distressed by their own or others’ sexual orientation and concludes that the benefits reported by participants in sexual orientation change efforts can be gained through approaches that do not attempt to change sexual orientation.”

PFOX has been known to work on anti-gay issues like marriage equality, while trying to change their members thru heterosexual brain-washing. According to the PFOX website, local groups exist to achieve their mission. In my personal investigation of PFOX I discovered thru the Truth Wins Out website that “since PFOXs inception they have been funded by the religious right.” They received an $80,000 grant from anti-gay lobby group Family Research Council (FRC), and we all know about FRC and the anti-gay rhetoric.

I recently received an email from someone in Fairbury, NE telling me that a PFOX Group is forming there. I contacted Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) in Omaha to find out what we must do to counter this ex-gay movement.

PFOX’s effort to start an ex-gay movement comes after the George Rekers ‘Rentboy’ scandal. Rekers was an ex-gay expert witness that homosexuality can change, but not even Rekers was truly ex-gay. He is now back in treatment even though he claims he is not gay.

For someone who experienced PFOX’s theology first hand, they tried to make me believe I could change my sexual orientation by prayer, bible study and church involvement. But God chose to show me something different when I began to see the light from his loving eyes. I stated my testimony with Truth Wins Out that fights the myths of the ex-gay movement. In 2007 I did a video because I thought it would help someone else out there. In 2008 I spoke at Hastings College in Hastings, NE about my experience of trying to change my sexual orientation. I believe some of us are born gay, others made that way by man, and others chose to be gay later in life. I truly believe that the last two might change, but being born gay cannot change who they are.

 I am a lesbian and have been this way since five years old. I knew then that I was different and throughout my life I hid that part of me from myself and others in fear. Fear was a great motivator for me then. I didn’t want anyone to find out my little secret. But come to find out they already knew.

In “Ex-Gay No Way”, which I am currently reading, it talks about how the ex-gay movement is religious abuse. Michael Bussee, a founder of Exodus International and ex-gay survivor said when “looking back on it now I realize, they were using brainwashing techniques”. That ex-gay programs do not work they only destroy and hurt the individual who is homosexual and thinks he or she needs to change because of religion, family or whatever their reasons. In my own experience, the church would condemn LGBTs out right but I always chimed in that we are called to love them too. While I was in PFOX “treatment” I remained celibate for 10 years in accordance with their teachings, I thought that would be the right thing to do. But feelings of being homosexual only came out very strong when I got sober and cleaned up from the drugs and alcohol, which I had abused to hide my true feelings inside. I realized with the help of some really great women that I became free from the fear of being gay for the first time in my life. I have never lost that feeling. I have been out for nine years and have become fully engaged in the gay rights effort to speak out against PFOX’s horridness theologies.

PFOX coming to Fairbury, may be a good thing for some or a bad thing for many. But we must live together and tolerate each other’s opinions, thoughts, ideas and words. Some of my rational is supported by the scandals of prominent ex-gay’s who are found to be living a fraudulent life like George Rekers, and Ted Haggard. 

Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbian and Gays (PFLAG) opposes efforts by PFOX and professional and religious organizations that promote change or repair to anyone’s sexual orientation thru religious condemnation. They believe such attempts originate from cultural bias based on myth, fear, misperception and misunderstanding. PFLAG encourage’s all professional, educational and religious organizations to work toward changing cultural biases rather than embarking on futile and damaging efforts to change sexual orientation. PFOX certainly has the right to organize and express their opinions – and it will be the ongoing role of PFLAG to ensure that communities see the harmful and unnecessary work that PFOX does.

PFLAG South Central:
http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?&pid=224&srcid=229&chid=223
PFLAG Cornhusker: www.pflagcornhusker.org
PFLAG Omaha: www.pflag-omaha.org

This story was last updated on Saturday, May 29th, 2010 at 1:00 pm. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.