August 19, 2010

President Barack Obama

The White House1600 Pennsylvania Ave

 NWWashington, DC 20500

 

Dear Sir,     Inauguration Day was a notable moment in history. It was a teachable moment for so many. I was happy to share this day with my daughter and partner. We were fortunate to have tickets to the Inauguration. We stood in the freezing weather for hours waiting to watch the Inauguration. I’m sure it was a special moment for your family as well. As I watched the swearing in ceremony, I began to weep. I was one step closer to telling my daughter without a doubt she can almost be anything she wants to be when she grows up and becomes an adult. There are not many obstacles left in her way.

     But I would like for you to imagine for a moment the thought of Michelle and your daughters having to watch the Inauguration on television or from the audience with the rest of us. Imagine the family that supported you along your journey to becoming the 44th President of the United States having to blend anonymously into the crowd. Imagine that Michelle could not hold the Bible as you are taking the Oath because everyone would find out you had a wife and loving family. I have heard you acknowledge on several occasions your gratitude for having the love and support of your family. Just imagine you had to hide them from the public out of fear of losing the nomination or the election.

     Imagine waking up every day in constant fear of someone finding out you have a loving family that stood by you throughout your years as a Community Organizer, Senator and now President. Just imagine your family could not live in the White House with you but had to live in another home across town. Imagine the fear you might endure every day as you leave your Residence, go to the Oval Office, or board Air Force One and wonder is today the day I will lose the career you spent so many years trying to achieve. Imagine every time you went to dinner, a play, or to see a performance at the Kennedy Center with Michelle and feared losing your job because someone saw you. Imagine having to be careful not to have any photos of your family in the Oval Office, in your wallet or in your residence out of fear. Imagine that day when you feel battered and bruised from your opponents and you cannot call Michelle for the fear of losing your job.

     Imagine you went to another region of the world for an extended period of time but you must go alone because to everyone else Michelle, Sasha and Malia do not exist. Imagine you were going off to War to fight for your country and its freedoms, but cannot be honest about the family you are leaving behind. Imagine you are waiting before you leave for Afghanistan or Iraq and watching all of the other families saying their goodbyes, but you had to say your goodbye hours before under the cover of darkness. Imagine the thought of being injured fighting that War and your wife had to find out from a third party or the local news. And when your significant other finally hears the news, they cannot go to be by their side. Imagine you just saw one of your fellow comrades injured or killed in the line of duty and you cannot call your wife out of fear someone may be listening to your conversation.

     Imagine for a moment Congress starting the Impeachment Process because Joe the Plumber insinuated to another person he saw you hug your wife. Imagine all of the things you have done to get you where you are can be taken away by a total stranger that made an anonymous phone call from a blocked telephone number. The stresses of hiding, using certain pronouns, and the possibility of losing your career would force you to ask yourself, do I continue to serve my country dishonestly or do I retire and live an honest life. There are more than 66,000 brave men and women serving their country that deal with these issues every day. They couldn’t go to their Chaplain or Therapist to discuss the reason for their stress out of fear of being turned into their Commanding Officer as being Gay.

     The Service Members risk their lives every day for our freedom but their freedom is being debated, discounted, dismissed, and delayed. It takes a certain type of person to choose to serve their country. And we ask them to live a dishonest life. I hear the argument regularly that they knew Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell was in place when they enlisted. But imagine having to decide between the family you love and the career you love. Some make a decision not to pursue a romantic relationship while they serve. But imagine when you fell in love with Michelle and you had to ignore your heart.

    I say “Yes We Can” repeal Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell during two Wars. Our Service Members deserve to have the support of their loved ones as they are driving past IED’s, being shot at and dealing with the stresses in their lives without the fear of being discharged from the Military. They deserve to go home at the end of the day or the end of their deployment and not worry about being discharged. Everyone deserves a husband, wife, partner or significant other to go home to that will hold them and tell them everything will be alright.

      I would like for you to close your eyes and remember that first dance at the Neighborhood Ball where Beyonce sang “At Last”. Remember how you felt at that very moment when you held Michelle close, and danced to one of your favorite songs. All of the emotions you felt as you danced as though no one was watching. If you were gay, that danced would have never occurred.

     All of the things I asked you to imagine, I live every day of my life. We are at a crucial time where Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell can be repealed. The 66,000 Service members must remain silent during this time to avoid being discharged. The studies are being conducted about them, around them, without them being asked how the repeal will impact their lives. They are busy fighting for our freedoms and deserve us to fight for them. If not now, when is a good time to allow the brave men and women to live an honest life free of fear on the home front? THE TIME IS NOW!

 

Signed,

The partner of an active duty service member serving in silence